Lipstick On A Pig

I work in Corporate America. There is an entrenched belief that technology should be a very specific thing, a thing that doesn’t change much. Change freaks Corporate America.

I’m being forced to use specific tools to do my job. Software and services that for the most part remain unchanged since the 1990s. Software and services that supposedly foster productivity, enable you to do your job better, and aid in the clear communication of what is needed, yet the opposite to all of that is true. This collection of disjointed and poorly planned software and services cripples productivity and creativity in ways I can’t put into words.

Still, lipstick keeps on being applied in greater quantities to the pig. The more it changes, the more it remains the same, with cluttered interfaces, poor data flow, insecure handling of information, archaic formats, poor device resources management, and - the worst offender - no integration with anything but its own pig-with-lipstik services that are as crippled as the software itself.

So, what do you end up with? Nothing integrated. A collection of separate tools that don’t talk to each other, relying on poorly written plugins as a conduit to pass data around, or to create things.

I often fantasize that I lock the UI/UX designers of these tools in a room and force them to use their software and services for mission critical, life or death situations and see them cramble in tears as they realize the hell they put us all in.

Simplicity? No, that’s not a word for Corporate America. Minimalism? No, that’s not a word for Corporate America. Ease of use? No, that’s not a word for Corporate America. Open standards? No, that’s not a word for Corporate America. Security? No, that’s not a word for Corporate America….Wait, what? Yes…

I finally had enough so I began rebelling against this. How? I began to use simple tools. Not all works, but in not working I’m making people annoyed and pointing them to the tools and services. I say: Sorry, I don’t use [INSERT NAME OF TOOL HERE]. Slowly but securely some people, younger and older, are beginning to realize that they don’t like these tools and services either.

Maybe I’ll get some numbers and I will be able to force a change. Maybe not. Corporate America, like their tools and services, always goes for another lipstick round., never fixing what’s broken and clinging to old ways of doing things.

Oh well... One can dream.