Finding Inner Peace

When I came out of the service, I was broken, physically and mentally. I had sustained injuries that left me with mobility issues and other physical impairments, but the biggest issues were in my head. I was a ball of rage and violence.

Somehow, I found Sensei E.'s Aikido dojo.

Aikido is a martial art where practitioners use a combination of moves, blends, and locks to stop an attacker. The idea is to use the attacker's own force against him. Honestly, it's not a very good martial art if your goal is to win a street fight. You might be able to do something effective against an amateur fighter that lets you run away, but against a professional or experienced fighter, not so much. It's good at teaching you how to read your opponent, how to blend with the attack, and how to keep calm, but you need to supplement it with something more violent and effective if you want a real chance, like Krav Maga, BJJ, Muay Thai, or Systema. Combined with other things, it adds to them.

What Aikido is great at is giving you your center back. It's great at letting you know your body, helping you understand how your own energy moves, and helping heal your body. It's great at focusing your own energy, whether rage or anything else, and letting that move you in a good way. It's meditation in motion.

Sensei E. saved me. Aikido saved me.

Sensei patiently worked with me in his dojo. He allowed me to be angry, but he would not take crap from me. He forced me to deal with my own demons on the mat, and over time the rage subsided. The other people at the dojo became a family as well. And Sensei became a friend.

About a year or so after I began practicing, his son also left the service and came to practice at the dojo. He had already been practicing Aikido since he was a little kid, and you could see that. The way he moved, the inner peace. In spite of the violence he had also seen, and unlike me, he was able to deal with it better. I'm willing to say in great part because of Aikido.

Sensei's son became one of the best friends I have ever had. A brother, in the full sense of the word. Even today, after decades of knowing each other, we share that bond.

Why am I writing this?

Sensei passed.

I loved him. I love him.

Rest in peace, Sensei. You were light in this world.

Here's a small demo of Aikido.