Only Speak If It Improves Upon The Silence

The older I get, and the more I interact with people across many levels, the more I'm drawn to and notice when people keep quiet. This is especially true for those who have a deeper understanding of what's going on and the experience that comes from having "done". Over time, I've learned to recognize the nuanced differences in silences: from the rare "I will remain silent because I have nothing constructive to add" silence, to the more common "I don't know enough, so it's better to stay quiet" one.

It took me a few fights with my own human nature (AKA ego), and a long time to learn that silence is very often a preferred answer, or at least one that is appreciated. Still, I'm still learning to keep my mouth shut and don’t just “have an opinion” for the sake of it. It’s a lesson that keeps on punching me on the gut, time and time again, reminding me to push harder to be better.

I need to constantly remind myself that sometimes silence is a really good answer.

I have learned, especially in the last ten years or so, that I must remain silent as much as possible. Originally I thought I must always keep my thoughts to myself in order to avoid conflict, but with experience came the realization that it is not the “keeping of the thoughts to oneself” that is the problem, but rather it’s the when and how to express those thoughts, and when not to express them at all.

The second thing that is important to understand is that most often people won’t back words with action. They'll just talk. I know that all too well, I was there, I was one of them. I put a lot of effort today to really speak when I can also show that what I said has substance. That there is something that has already been achieved, and possibly with a lesson learned (hence I would open my mouth), or something that needs to be done, to affect a certain result or outcome, and I am stating the fact that I will do it. That it will be done.

It's a difficult skill to master, and I may never fully do it. We are all full of shit. Period. That’s human nature.

"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

— Lao-Tzu

Only speak if it improves upon the silence.

It's a tough lesson to learn, a bitter pill to swallow, simply difficult. But I keep pushing forward and I will continue to do so.